Not much is known of the self-proclaimed the Constable. The Prank Machine Crew found him in a cardboard box on a weekend visit to a golf course. Speaking of fecal matter and bagels they thought to harness this talk and send it into a phone, confusing the recipient of the call. Although the talk that comes from the Constable usually involves a reference to the person’s weight, the crew tolerates the Constable enough to benefit the Prank Machine. The Constable’s foe only seems to be chairs, which his right leg mysteriously seems to get tangled in at almost every turn. While the Constable is screaming, “I’m down!” the Crew pulls the chair away. The Constable leaves when the pranking is complete but appears as if by magic for the next round. The Crew would put an ad in the paper to help someone find him, but you know that’d cost money.